boringvsfunny

Which side of me will win?

De Luxe Edition

I awoke this morning wondering what you call a person from Luxembourg. I looked it up and they’re a Luxembourger. They even speak Luxembourgish. Less interesting answers than I was hoping for. I was wondering this because there was a girl in my dream from Luxembourg. She also said she was Belgian, and that the type of Belgian she was was called a ‘Bambino’. It was at that point that I started to suspect she was merely a figment of my subconscious. I might not have known that a Luxembourger comes from Luxembourg (although I’m pretty sure I could have guessed if put on the spot), but I do know that a Bambino doesn’t come from Belgium.

I woke up pretty early for a Sunday, presumably because I slept so much yesterday. I got out of bed, got dressed and put some plastic bottles and glass jars in bags to take to the recycling centre. My building is one of those from which the council does not collect recyclables, I’m guessing because someone kept throwing chicken carcasses in the recycling bin before I even moved in here. Happened in a building I lived in before too.

I dropped off my recycling, enjoying the smashing of glass, not enjoying the stickiness of the rubber flaps over the holes in the plastic and aluminium bank. Then I went to Sainsbury’s. I wasn’t reckoning on having time to make vegetable chilli this week, so my cheap, repetitive diet will instead be derived from a big bag of frozen chicken portions and a slightly less big bag of frozen sausages. And some eggs. And some other stuff. What, do you want the whole list? I bought toilet paper too. Four rolls. Not that it’s any of your business.

I went home, had some chicken and some rice while watching Live At The Apollo on iPlayer, then discovered I’d accidentally thrown away my hospital appointment slip. So I phoned the hospital to find out what time my appointment today was. It was at 2, so I headed out fairly soon after.

Hands up who was given specific orders not to go out in the sun today.

I have my hand up. I do too. That’s why I’m typing this bit so slowly. Not that you’d know. Help me out here, read it slow.

Yeah. No afternoon at the beach for me. Just an afternoon of sitting indoors covered in coal tar. The lunatic nurse was back on today, along with a male nurse who said “Excuse me!” in a very clear, very direct manner every time he had to touch me anywhere near anywhere… y’know, anywhere. It’s alright mate, I think we all know why you’re doing it by now. Maybe he didn’t want me to think he was gay. Bit late for that, you should hear his laugh…

I played videogames, ate more chicken and rice, and watched a bit of The Beast Master. Me and Ryan King have just had a big swap of DVDs that aren’t necessarily as shit as they look like they ought to be. The Beast Master is supposed to be one of the genuinely good ones. So far, very little dialogue, very few characters wearing trousers, number of unnecessary boobs: four. I’ll keep you posted as things develop.

I took a shower, which is such a relief when getting this treatment, then immediately sat down to do this. Still in my towel turban and everything. Better take it off, it’s slipping.

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