boringvsfunny

Which side of me will win?

Metalcamp 2011: A Major Confluence Booster

So, we’re standing there on the track leading into the campsite and already Ash is sounding quite overwhelmed by just how metal everyone and everything is. I too am dizzy with excitement. And heat. It’s early evening but still very hot.

We set off along the track in search of wristbands. On the way, I give my friend Nina a call. Nina is about the luckiest metal fan in the whole of Slovenia. She grew up bored and frustrated at how little there was to do in her home town, her home country in fact. But now, for one week a year for the past eight years, this has been the view from the front door of her parents’ house…

Yeah, someone put a metal festival in her front garden. Not just any metal festival either. The best one.

I’d love to have seen her face the moment she first heard about  Metalcamp. I daresay she smiled so hard that her head split in two with all brains and blood and bile spurting out the middle like something you’d see printed on a metal T-shirt. She looks remarkably well these days considering. No scars or anything.

I met Nina last year through a mutual friend, Blake from Canada, who I’d met at Hellfest in 2009. She’s very cool, very kindly and generous, has the patience of a saint, knows everything about metal, about Slovenia and about Tolmin, and speaks better English than me.

Seriously, I was describing the Metalcamp site to my brother the week before the festival and when I told him it was located at the point where two rivers meet. He said, “What’s that called? It’s a… um… it’s called a… um…”

Neither he, an experienced English teacher/examiner, nor I, an experienced English journalist, could think of the word. Nina knew it straight away – confluence. Ash did too, to be fair.

Tell Nina how good her English is and she will tell you it’s shit. Perhaps this is modesty, or perhaps she has her sights set on a very high standard of English indeed. She plans to continue studying it (she’s doing some kind of uber-masters degree in English and Czech) for at least another two years, by which point I imagine I won’t even be able to understand her any more because she’ll have started talking like Will Self or something.

Anyway, Nina is a good friend and a very useful person to know at Metalcamp, which is why I’m ringing her straight away. She’s somewhere in the woods drinking, but says she’ll come and meet us at the wristband exchange. It turns out though that the wristband exchange has moved since last year and that you don’t need wristbands to enter the main bit of the campsite this year so, when we see that the queue for wristbands is huge, we forget all about meeting Nina and piss off to go put our tents up. This is because we are neither good friends nor useful. But when we do finally catch up with Nina, she doesn’t seem too bothered that we kept her waiting. Like I say, patience of a saint.

En route to the wristband exchange, by the way, we bump into Peter and Will. Peter is a Slovenian guy I met last year and Will is one of only three acceptable English people at Metalcamp, the other two being me and Ash. I will elaborate further regarding our racism towards the English in a later blog entry.

It transpires that Peter has drunk all of Will’s whisky, but Will is not upset by this as he is wearing Peter’s shoes, having lost his own somewhere. Peter has no shoes on. If you think these two sound like a motley pair, you wait ‘til we get onto the subject of Nick from Canada, a.k.a. Naked Nick. Shudders.

Anyway, we pitch our tents, which makes us hot and sweaty and puts us in the mood for a beer. I’ll post what I can remember of the next 12 hours or so in my next blog. Na zdravje!

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One Response

  1. Peter says:

    Fuck, that put a smile on my face. Looking forward to reading more of your ramblings.

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