boringvsfunny

Which side of me will win?

Metalcamp 2011: A wolf in a kayak

Having spent most of the day surrounded by other fucking English people, we’re both absolutely gagging to hang out with some foreigners, so I give Nina a bell and we meet up with her at a nice little wooded spot where some of her Slovene friends are camping.

I can’t remember all of their names, but I’m pretty sure one of them was something like Ivan, but maybe with a J in the front – Jivan? Those Slovenes love the letter J. Most Slovene words have at least three Js in them. They treat it pretty much like a vowel and it’s worth very few points in Slovene Scrabble.

Okay, the internet says Jivan is a Hindi name, so that’s probably not right. Maybe it was Ijvan, or maybe simply Ivan. Let’s called him Ivan for now, just to make my life easier.

I’ve got a weird feeling one of the others was called Alan, and the third I have no clue. Those two were very quiet anyway. I’m guessing maybe they don’t speak much English. Or maybe they disliked us as soon as they saw us. Or maybe they’re just quiet.

We hang our chatting for a while and we tell Ivan about something awesome we’d seen earlier in the day that I totally forgot to write about when I was writing about what happened earlier in the day. I can’t believe I forgot that we saw…

…a wolf in a kayak.

I’m not shitting you, people. We saw a motherfucking wolf in a motherfucking kayak.

It wasn’t rowing or anything. Don’t be stupid. There were people in the kayak too. The wolf was just sitting there enjoying the ride. One bold Metalcamper who was swimming out in the river even petted it as it glided by.

We describe what we saw to Ivan and he says he used to have the same thing as a pet. It’s like a really big husky. He says they can’t bark, only howl and that’s what makes them wolves. So it really was a wolf.

I did some research when I got home and it turns out what we saw was a malamute, which Wikipedia says is a “wolf-like breed of domestic dog”. But everyone knows everything on Wikipedia is wrong, so the facts still stand. We saw a wolf in a kayak.

Ash even texts his mum to tell her we saw a wolf in a kayak and her response is to ask if he has been taking drugs. Ash!?!?! Drugs!?!? Pfff…

It’s nearly time for Legion Of The Damned and, despite the fact that they’re unlikely to impress us as much as a wolf in a kayak, we get off our arses and head to the arena anyway.

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