boringvsfunny

Which side of me will win?

Metalcamp 2011: Point is where all die

When I returned to work after Metalcamp, the moment I walked through the office door my boss came right up to me and said, “Gav, show me your eyes.” I just stood there while he looked at them. Why did he want to see my eyes?

Ash had arrived at work before me and when everyone had seen his black eye, they’d decided we must have had a fight at some point during our holiday – there may even have been wagers riding on it. But my eyes were fine. And it wasn’t me that gave Ash a black eye…

It was Slayer.

Well, it was actually a boy much smaller and younger than Ash in the Slayer mosh pit. But symbolically, yes… it was Slayer.

Perhaps Ash wouldn’t have got beaten up by a small boy had I been there to protect him, but I didn’t join him in the pit because, well, I very rarely bother with that kind of carry on these days. Too old, I guess.

I’m very excited to see Slayer though. Yeah, I have seen them a few times before, and yeah, I’m not that big a fan but… it is Slayer. They are genuine metal royalty and they’re the biggest and most respected band at Metalcamp. It’s a very special night.

My sense of anticipation is such that I’m half expecting to be converted into a rabid Slayer fanboy by the end of their set, but it doesn’t quite pan out that way. They’re quality, and no mistake, but they do seem noticeably older than the last time I saw them. The performance is a bit static, a bit tired. Maybe it’s me though. Maybe I should have gone in the pit, after all.

I stick around for Watain, who Nina had told me she was looking forward to as the only proper black metal band on the bill. They’re very evil, and quite funny, but I leave before the end so I can go get something from my tent before heading over to the second stage for Milking The Goat Machine who I want to see because they’re called Milking The Goat Machine. And because they perform death metal wearing plastic goat masks, but mainly because they’re called Milking The Goat Machine.

Croatian Guy is back at camp and when I tell him I’m off to see Milking The Goat Machine, he tells me he saw them on the second stage already and that they started a while ago. I check the time, which I haven’t done for a while. Oh… seems the main stage is running behind schedule and it’s later than I thought so I rush over to the second stage and catch just the last few songs of Milking The Goat Machine.

They’re pretty good, and the way their little goat ears wiggle when they shake their heads to their own blast beats is adorable. The weirdest thing about seeing them is that because they’re all wearing masks and there are no microphones on stage, it’s really hard to figure out which one(s) is/are doing the vocals and talking. I never really worked it out.

I meet back up with Ash, who proudly displays his new black eye, and we head off to the beach bar to get drunk(er). Tonight will prove to be a special night in more ways than one. For ‘tis not only the night of Slayer… ‘tis the night of…

The Poo Game!

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