Which side of me will win?

Top 20 weird search terms that brought people to this blog


I’ve been getting a slightly increased amount of search engine traffic lately, especially since I posted that one story that had teenage girls and tits and peeing all in one go. And there comes a time in every blog’s life where you have to take a look at exactly what it is that people have been searching for.

My findings are, as I expected, at once hilarious and depressing. Doing this is like staring deep into the darkest recesses of humanity. Honestly, there are some search terms that ought to get someone arrested. People are fucked up.

But sometimes fucked up people are funny, so let’s laugh at these…

zack wylde peeing on crowd
Can anyone confirm? Did this actually happen?

dicks photoshopped into people’s mouths
This sounds like the sort of thing I’d do. But I’ve never actually done it.

breasts and vulva
Ooh, somebody wants to have his cake and eat it…

mother fucking kayak
I’m picturing three screaming children looking on in horror as their mummy rams a canoe up her vag. For some reason.

purbeck fuck
This has to be a sheep shagger. There are no people in Purbeck.

heman cunt
Seems a bit harsh.

tinkle in my pants
Yeah, that’s right. If you’re going to be weird, at least do it with a quirky sense of charm.

a but pooing
The misspelling of ‘butt’ lends it an extra dimension somehow.

never mind. fuck you!
No! Fuck you!

german golden shower
Well, what other nationality would it be?


tits for tits
Seems a fair exchange.

sausages cctv
You’ve been fried? No, that’s shit. Sorry. I’m struggling here…

cold scrotum
Aw, you poor thing. Weird though, my scrotum is always the last bit of me to get cold.

my tits gave me a black eye, pics
Now, this I intend to search for myself.

manowar (poo)
This just intrigues me. I mean, wh… what were th… and why the br… Oh, hang on. The only possible explanation for this one is that they were actually looking for my site.

poo poo metallica
This is essentially the Holy Trinity of boringvsfunny – poo, Metallica and more poo.

me peeing
How exactly do you expect Google to know who you are?

my willy
Again, Google can’t see you. You know that, right?

captain stickybeard
I’m pretty sure you won’t find this term anywhere in my blog, but the beautiful thing is that it describes one of its characters perfectly.

unnecessary boobs
The internet is essentially made from unnecessary boobs. If you took the unnecessary boobs out of it, it would collapse in on itself and we’d all die. So they’re actually necessary in a way.


Filed under: Top 10, , , , , , ,

2 Responses

  1. S. Van Lure says:

    hahaha, the golden shower idea is great!;)
    by the way, you are in slovenia, are you going to Metalcamp next week?


  2. Of course. I’m travelling to Tolmin on Friday.

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