Which side of me will win?

Slovenian names – what I think of when I hear them


Some would have it that it’s a low-down, cheap, possibly even racist brand of humour that laughs at foreigners for being different. It is. But this blog doesn’t count, okay?

I’m not so much laughing at how funny some Slovene names sound to me as I am helping them to laugh at themselves. And that’s not racist, that’s positively saintly (besides, I have to get all this out of my system – I’m laughing at them on the inside pretty much all the time).

Now, in alphabetical order, here they are…



None of the Andrejs I’ve met here have been very tall, but they still give me giant thoughts.



I train myself to pronounce it correctly by thinking, “Like ‘onion’ without the ‘n’ on the end.”


I don’t necessarily think of sex positions, it’s just that this video is funny. I don’t necessarily not think of sex positions, mind you…



…or Mr. Bine, as I prefer to call them.



Slovenia didn’t really have games consoles in the Nineties, and so for the last twenty years many Slovenes have been blissfully unaware that to most of the rest of the world, Blanka is a massive green bloke from the Brazilian jungle who can make himself go electric. I had the pleasure of witnessing a group of Slovenes play Street Fighter II for the first time, and it was just as hilarious to them to see the character of Blanka as it is to me to met a woman called Blanka.



Yes, the Slovene word for ‘God’ is the same as a popular British slang word for ‘toilet’.



I’m sure they’re all… very nice!



Rudolph isn’t Santa’s only reindeer. One of the others is called Dasher.


In the UK it’s the name of a slutty old tart. In Slovenian… a boy’s name?



I’m not sure how widespread this particular bit of slang is, but it’s certainly quite common in the south east of England. An old lady is sometimes referred to as a ‘Doris’ – often ‘some old Doris’ – because it is a name befitting of an old lady. In England, Dorises are usually found knitting, nearly falling over on buses, and being unapologetically racist.



In the original book, Dr. Frankenstein had no assistant. In the original Universal Studios movie, he had a hunchback assistant called Fritz. Then in later movies he had an assistant called Ygor, but he wasn’t a hunchback. Yet for some reason, most people living in countries where no one’s called Igor, think of it as a name befitting a deformed lab assistant. Possibly because that’s the name of this character in Mel Brooks’ fantastic spoof, Young Frankenstein.



It sounds like ‘yukka’, which is a type of plant. They’re fairly tough and don’t require much looking after. The plants, that is…






It is used to mash potatoes therefore it is… a masher.



Get a better look at Matic here.



Not to be confused with a ‘Doris’, a ‘Nana’ isn’t simply an old lady. More specifically a ‘Nana’ is someone’s grandmother. Just to compound matters further, my own step-Nana – lovely old Doris, so she was – was called Ida, which is spelled the same as the Slovene name, Ida (obviously), but pronounced the same as the Slovene name, Ajda. Basically, there are young women with old ladies’ names all over the fucking place in this country.



I want to get two ladies with this name together so that I have a pair.


Nee-naaah… nee-naaah… nee-naaah… nee-naaah… nee-naaah… nee-naaah…



For those about to…



When I think of Romans, I think of Asterix.



As in, “Have you seen Matic, Tadej?”



I know it’s pronounced differently, but still…



On the one occasion I met a girl called Tonka, I was transported back to the Eighties, and memories of remarkably robust toy cars and trucks. Those fuckers were unbreakable.



Confusing, as it seems to mean pretty much the same thing in Slovene too.



Short for video which, informally, can refer to both the machine and the cassette.


Honestly, every time I say it out loud there’s, like, an echo in my head that goes, “Žiga Žig-aaahhh!”


Filed under: Slovenia, , , , , ,

5 Responses

  1. Can anyone tell me which Facebook account is linking to this? Hvala!

  2. mkogoj says:

    Do you really think that

    “Slovenia didn’t really have games consoles in the Nineties, and so for the last twenty years many Slovenes have been blissfully unaware that to most of the rest of the world, Blanka is a massive green bloke from the Brazilian jungle”?

    I think you’re bluffing on this one. My experience was the opposite: I know kids were playing SF around 96, 94 just as much as “the most of the rest of the world”. I don’t mind humor (Blanka = Blanka) but you need to get your facts straight: Blanka was a Slovenian girl who went to the Amazon to learn the ways of the force. She had a rival who pushed her into a pool of radioactive liquid – that’s when the s-he change happened, Because beating Blanka was akin to a miracle the rival became known as Wonder Woman. She then became queen of Amazon by inventing the wonderbra. The injustice fueled Blanka’s rightous fury as s/he went on a murderous rampage which devastated the entire forest. It is now a barren and dry land as the very soil still radiates an aura of death and destruction, poisoning the people that live on it with hatred and unforgiving rage. It is known as “Texas”.

  3. Oh yeah, of course. Silly me. I should have read the manual.

  4. jijijijij says:

    Do you now what Bog means… means God,,, 😛

  5. Er… yeah. That’s why I said, “Yes, the Slovene word for ‘God’ is the same as a popular British slang word for ‘toilet’.”

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